2009: Bring It On!

Our life in 2008:

2008 was an amazing year. 100% the craziest year ever, and most of the craziness was wonderful. Quite obviously, the best example of this was the birth of Levi and Asher, who have been the most satisfying and rewarding addition to our lives...EVER! And I am so excited to see what 2009 is going to bring!

I suppose this is the point where I list out my New Year's Resolutions. But somewhere (I forget where, forgive me, it's not even 7 am yet) I read a bunch of people who wrote down what they will NOT do, instead of what they will do. Oh, I think it was in Real Simple magazine. Best magazine ever. I really liked what a lot of the people had to say, so as a change of pace, I'm going to list the things I'm not going to do in 2009.

I will not:

• Take my life so seriously. That means laughing more, smiling more, and focusing on wanting what I have instead of having what I want.
• Get frustrated so easily, whether it be with Nathan, work, or the boys.
• Take any time with Levi and Asher for granted. Every moment is a new discovery and joy.
• Procrastinate. As much.
• Allow myself to be as effected by the people around me, especially in a way that makes me into a negative person. A majority of the time, I am a very optimistic person but when I'm around negative people on a regular basis, I let that rub off on me. Not cool.
• Give myself excuses to not get back into a more healthy life style. This year, before getting pregnant, I managed to lose 11.5 lbs in 5 weeks. There's no reason I can't do it again!
• Forget to show Nathan how much he means to me. It's been a nutso year and that has often been pushed to the background, which is no good.
• Forget how amazingly blessed I am.

I really can't even begin to list all the millions of ways that we were blessed in 2008. More than any other time in my life, I was reminded of the depth of peoples' generosity and kindness, which shines so brightly when you're in some of your darkest hours. I will never forget the support of our family, the giving spirit of the people at the Ronald McDonald House, the friendship and skill of the nurses and doctors in the St. Luke's NICU, the giving spirit of the people back home whether it be the donation of leave time hours that made it possible for us to pay our bills and not have to declare bankruptcy (yeah, it would have been that serious otherwise) or the constant prayers offered on our behalf.

Part of me is sad to see 2008 go...as hard as it was at times, it was a wonderful year. But our pastor last Sunday talked about something that really hit home with me (when I could ferret out his point from all his rabbit trails). He said, "Do not look back and dwell on what is past. You may remember it with fondness, but it's gone." Basically, if you are constantly reliving the past in your mind, you can't grow, can't move forward, can't become the person you are meant to be. Live in today. Live in the now. And with these two beautiful babies, I don't have a problem with that.

Things to look forward to in 2009:

• The boys growing and becoming more and more interactive. Every day is a new discovery and a new joy.
• Our trip to Portland in March to go see WICKED!!!! Courtesy of my MIL who is also providing babysitting services for the night. Yay for date night!
• My parents getting back from the boat in June after being gone for 5 months, and watching them enjoy all the changes in the boys.
• Nathan and my 3 year anniversary.
• The boys turning one year old!
• Getting a wood fence put up around our yard so the boys can play out there without the fear of creep-o people coming up to our current cyclone fence to talk to them!
• Expanding our circle of young parent friends...can you say support network?! Ha ha ha.
• Continuing to work at Dispatch in a job that I love. Who knew that a spur of the moment job application, brought on because I had quit my previous job and needed ANY job offered to me, would turn into a career I'd want to stay with? It just took me a while to realize that.
• Seeing how our lives are going to evolve as the boys get older.
• Being able to take the boys up into the mountains this summer, especially since I didn't get to go into the mountains once last summer...you know, that whole being put on bed rest thing.
• Finding a really great babysitter. Someone we can completely trust to leave the boys with when Nathan and I just need a few hours of non-baby time. Anyone have any suggestions?
• Losing weight. I WILL get back into the groove of things and I will be happier with who I am.
• Being ridiculously happy with my life as it is every day.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Money, And All That Jazz

So, you're telling me that my bachelor degree is actually going to benefit me?

Wait...what?

Let's talk about a couple big blessings real quick. Neither Nathan or I were real keen on the idea of putting Levi and Asher into daycare, especially as infants. And seeing as how I make the majority of our family income and provide the benefits like insurance, me staying home with the boys just wasn't an option. Which left Nathan as the reasonable choice for lowering his work hours and being a stay at home dad. And thankfully, his boss was more than willing to work with him on that so now he stays home with the boys while I go to work to bring home the...err...formula.

The unfortunate part of this story is that staying home required Nathan to cut back on his hours, big time. Then again, he definitely wouldn't have been able to work 40 hours each week AND take care of the boys but it was going to put quite the crunch on our bank accounts. That's where the huge blessings and good timing comes in.

A week after coming back to work at the beginning of this month, I received my Step 3 raise for having been employed at dispatch for two years. Around the same time, our association finalized our negotiations and we all received a 4% raise. Which, needless to say, has somewhat lessened the gap between what our two incomes use to be and what they are now.

And then tonight, while I was at work, one of our officers was talking about what it would take to get her intermediate certification. You see, through Oregon's Department of Public Safety Standards and Training (DPSST), which runs the academy I went to, each certification (police, fire, telecommunications, emergency medical dispatch, corrections, parole & probation, etc) has three levels of certification: basic, intermediate, and advanced. Oh, and there's manager, director, etc, but we're not going to worry about those right now.

This is where my bachelor degree comes in. As our officer was talking, I realized that I may be getting close to being able to apply for my intermediate certification. I looked it up on DPSST's website and sure enough, the combination of my Basic DPSST Academy Training and my bachelor's degree means that I only have to have two years of experience before I can apply to be an intermediate. Remember how I mentioned earlier that this month I got my two year raise? If I didn't have my bachelor's degree, I'd have to have a combination of several more years of experience and training hours turned into college credits. I knew those four years of college were going to come in handy some day!

Needless to say, I have already filled out the application and have faxed a request to Pacific for an official transcript to send off to DPSST. Which will mean another raise in the near future.

See? Major blessings that all equal us being able to keep the boys out of day care and still in formula and diapers!

Makes Me Want To Tiptoe Through the Tulips?

On the day after Christmas, it snowed about a foot or so in 12 hours.

Yesterday...it got up to 42 degrees. It was downright balmy out.

Right now...it is raining and is 36 degrees out.

Needless to say, the snow has mostly melted and it is a slushy mess out there. The scary part is that tonight it's suppose to get back down to the 20's and snow by around 6 pm, which means that this slushy mess is going to freeze and become ice. Yikes. Should make for an interesting work night.

On a non-weather related subject, the boys are just rocking our socks off. Every day they become more and more interactive and are staying awake longer during the day. Except for tonight, they have also been sleeping regularly between around 1 am and 4-5 am. One of their favorite forms of exercise is "tummy to tummy" time. Rather than laying on the floor, they absolutely love to lay tummy to tummy with either Nathan or I while we're sitting on the couch. Once there, they arch their backs to sit straight up, they hold their heads up for minutes at a time, and they push up with their legs to stand (with our help, of course). They're now getting to the point where they can support of of their weight on their legs for about 5 seconds or so before they slowly bend their legs and kneel on our laps. We help keep them balanced by holding them under their armpits, but for my part, I don't help them by supporting their weight.

One of my favorite things that the boys do is when they give me baby kisses. I realize that it's just them looking for something to eat, but when they're hungry and I'm holding them up to my shoulder, a lot of times they will turn their faces towards mine, open their mouths, and start pecking at my cheek. It's too much fun. Oh, and they're also starting to consistently track things with their eyes, such as my hand when I move it in front of them. Their fascination with light continues...they will stare at light for hours.

I know I've talked about how much I love them before, but every day I'm surprised by how much MORE I love them as their interaction grows. They're just becoming so much more fun, rather than simply eating and sleeping like they use to. I can't wait until they really discover each other and start playing together...that's going to be such a blast.

And now, I'm off to upload the TON of photos that are languishing on our point and shoot camera, most of which are of the boys. So go check out the boys' albums! There will be some new ones on their 3rd Month album and a whole new 4th Month album.

12,000+ Words

You know that old saying that a picture is worth a thousand words? Well, since I definitely don't feel like typing that many words myself, I have here a few photos to do the job for me. On Christmas Eve, we left the boys with Grandma Jan and piled into the truck with Kate and Eliot to go cut down a tree on my parent's Pine Creek property.

The four of us with the tree. Eliot brandishing the weapon of choice.

Bandit seeking shelter in the tree on the way back into town.

That night, after attending the Christmas Eve service at the Nazarene church, we all got together at the rental house for an amazing Italian Christmas Eve dinner, which consisted of the Carroll family raviolis with the Cavallo family secret recipe tomato sauce, my mom's specialty cannelloni, and a bunch of other goodies. Yum! After that, we each opened one present (I got flannel pj's from Victoria Secret, soooo comfy) and then Nathan drove me home to collapse . One of my coworkers had come to work sick and managed to give me the cooties, so I was coping with a sore throat, runny nose, and plugged ears. Not cool.

On Christmas Day, we all gathered at our house for breakfast, stockings, and the opening of the gifts that were under our tree since it made absolutely no sense to haul all of those presents over to the rental house that Grandma Jan, Kate, and Eliot were staying in, and then back to our house again. That entire process (breakfast, stockings, presents) lasted from 9 am until around 1 pm.

Grandma Jan with Asher on Christmas morning.

Aunt Kate with Asher on Christmas morning.

Evidently chicks dig Asher. And I have NO idea why all the photos are of Asher and almost none are of Levi. It's not my fault, I'm stealing these photos!

After a short break which included a nap for me, we reconvened at the rental house for the opening of the second batch of presents and Christmas dinner, which all lasted for another 4 hours or so. I'd have to say this was the longest marathon Christmas Day I've ever experienced, but it was a ton of fun.

There weren't many presents that I really wanted this year...hardly any, in fact. It's so hard to think of presents for yourself when you have two babies. I do have to say, though, that the best presents I got were kick butt! One was tickets to see Wicked in Portland in March, along with babysitting services, from Grandma Jan...eeeee! The other, which brought tears to my eyes, was a certificate from my mom for a year's worth of cleaning service every other week. I constantly feel like the only things I do is work, feed babies, and clean the house, so I'm hoping that this will help tame that feeling a little bit. I'm not sure what all this gal does, but even if she only wipes down surfaces and cleans the floor, that's still a big load off of my shoulders!

Asher in the Christmas outfit Grammy Gayle got for the boys. Too adorable!

Levi enjoying a bottle in his Christmas outfit. Finally, a pic of Levi!

Nathan getting Lego's from Kate and Eliot. Gotta love being a little kid at age 28!

Asher checking out the touch alphabet book that Aunt Kate and Uncle Eliot gave the boys.

Pausing my Christmas Eve dinner to give Levi HIS Christmas Eve dinner.

One of my Christmas presents to Nathan was the opportunity to go out and play in the snow with Kate and Eliot on the day after Christmas while I stayed home with the boys. After all, I needed to recoup some more and Nathan needed some time out of the house and away from being a daddy. Not saying he doesn't love his daddy duties, but we all need a break once a while in order to keep being good parents. So Nathan, Kate, and Eliot purchased three sleds and headed up to the Little Alps, which are just below the local ski area and are a popular sledding spot in the area.

The mountains on the way to Anthony Lakes.

Nathan sledding down the hill.

My only regret is that it looks like it was an absolutely BEAUTIFUL day and I haven't really gotten to go play in the snow yet this winter (besides the 15 minutes we spent schlepping through the snow to get our tree). It was, however, wonderful to just stay home and relax with my boys and my mom. We watched Mamma Mia, ate Mac & Cheese, and then she watched the boys while I slept so I could stay awake for tonight's graveyard shift.

All in all, Christmas break was a lot of fun, despite being sick and it was wonderful to have my parents, Nathan's parents, his sister and her husband all here to celebrate the boys' first Christmas with us. One thing's for sure, Levi and Asher will never be in want of love. One of the best parts of this Christmas was watching my family and Nathan's family blend together and become one big family. We shared stories, recipes, laughter, and the joy of the season. One thing's for sure, we'll have to do it again some day. Only next time, Kate, the boys will be older and I'll be able to help you with the insane planning and execution of the festivities!

The Reason For The Season

Here's wishing all of you an absolutely wonderful Christmas, filled with family, laughter, good food, and love! And that, above all, you remember why we even have this wondrous holiday.

As I sat in the Christmas Eve service at our church last night, holding Asher in my arms as he was staring into my eyes, I perhaps came a little closer to understanding what Mary felt when she first held Jesus in her arms. Would I be able to look into Asher's face and know that someday he was going to die for me? If I knew his future, would I be able to stand it? What a sacrifice. I don't know that I'd be able to stand aside and let him walk that road. Mary was a much stronger woman than I am.

And to think that such a sweet, innocent baby would become our Savior. Sometimes it's hard to connect the baby in the manger to the man who laid his life down for us. But just think...today we celebrate the day that marked the beginning of our road to redemption...the Savior has come! Emmanuel! God is with us!

Thank you Lord, and Merry Christmas.

Slow Down!

My boys, my sweet little babies, are 3 months old today. This morning, after I got home from work, I walking into their nursery where they were both sleeping peacefully in their crib and just stared at them. As hard as it was, I didn't pick them up, but I couldn't help but marvel at the fact that only three months ago, these two tiny people were inside of me. Nathan and I made them, they are a part of us, and I nurished and grew them in my own body. If that isn't a miracle, I don't know what is.

And as much as I'm looking forward to the time when they can walk, talk, and play with us, they need to STOP GROWING!!! It's already hard enough to know that the end of my nursing days are at hand, because I don't know if I'll be able to pump when I go back onto day shift starting in January, it's simply too busy all day long. That alone makes me want to cry. There's just something so sweet about that time that I get with the boys, something that bottle feeding doesn't even come close to touching. So please, can't we make time stand still, just for a little while longer? Can't I keep the kissable fingers, the tiny size perfect for snuggling in my arms, the sweet cooing noises, the baby smell? Pretty please?

I don't know what it is, but for some reason this weekend has been the hardest time I've had being away from the boys. All I want is to stay home and hold them, and it's killing me that I can't. Thankfully, after tonight's shift I have the next four days off, which I need, an emotional need that I feel so strongly that it has almost become physical. Only 10 1/2 hours until that time begins, and you'd better believe that I'm counting down.

Blink...Blink...Nod

It's almost two in the morning and I've had a total of three hours of sleep in the last 24 hours. Needless to say, the remaining five hours of my shift are stretching before me for what seems like eternity. Yaaaaaaawning. Both me and the hours.

Part of the problem with my sleep schedule was that the boys had an appointment at 12:20 for their monthly Synagis shot, which helps protect them from what to us is the common cold or flu, but to them can be deadly. They got weighed and they both now weigh 7 lbs 10 oz!!!! That's 13 oz in 16 days for Levi and 12 oz for Asher. I'm so proud of them!

There is so much I wanted to tell you about the boys and how they're changing, developing, and growing, but I have to admit that I can't remember most of it. Yaaawn. However, I do remember that they are definitely starting to take more notice of the things around them, such as lights and movement. They've both fallen in love with their bouncers, or more specifically, the toy bars on their bouncers. Asher seems to enjoy the green bouncer that has a teething ring, a rattle, and a stuffed turtle hanging from the bar, especially the green turtle...you should see how he eyes that thing, and he has even started reaching out to bat at it. The way that he glares at it makes me think of Stewie from Family Guy..."So Mr. Turtle, we meet again!" Meanwhile, Levi loves laying in the blue bouncer that has a water thingy on the toy bar that makes bubbles and spins little fish. His eyes get huge and he will just lay there for about an hour without making a sound, absolutely mesmerized.

As for the lights, there are a lot of times when I'm feeding them and I see them staring intently at something over my head. When I look in the direction they are looking, it's almost always at some sort of light; the reflections off of the tinsel garlands above the living room windows are of particular interest. Oooh, shiny!

They continue amazes me with how quickly they're developing; already their cries are taking on a more mature (read: loud) quality, and they're getting so strong! Tonight, before I left for work, I was holding Asher on my tummy and chest while he was wide awake, and he kept pushing himself upright with his hands and holding his head up for about 30 seconds at a time. Granted, his head kept bobbing forward or side to side, making him look vaguely like a Rugrats bobble head doll, but it's so cool to see him getting stronger even if I do spend most of the time laughing at him. Is that bad? Is he someday going to go into therapy as a result of some barely remembered infant memory of his mother laughing at his attempts to excel? Let's hope not.

Oh the other hand, Levi continues to be the more laid back of the twins, preferring to snuggle rather than pushing himself like his brother does. He also seems to be developing the beginnings of separation anxiety, so we're being really careful not to let him cry for too long before we comfort him in some way, at least for now. I'm still not worried about Levi's development though, I mean the boy IS rolling over regularly at only 3 weeks old (adjusted age). And I definitely don't mind the snuggling bit! I think Asher and Levi have taught Nathan and I to really live in and enjoy each moment, if for no other reason than it's too overwhelming to think beyond the immediate present.

What I can't handle is the fact that Christmas is in only 5 days! To those of our family members (grandparents, Aunt Diane) who aren't going to be able to join us for Christmas, your gifts will be en route to you as soon as I received them...evidently the Christmas season has our national postal service on overload. Who knew? It has been snowing here pretty consistently for the past few days and the forecast calls for more of the same through the rest of next week, which you gotta love! Here's the kicker...there has been the best snow coming down for the last couple of days. Small flakes, light, dry, and cold, all spelling the perfect snow for skiing. And I have to work tomorrow...tonight...whatever. So no skiing for us. Ah well, I have a feeling that my body is more in the mood for sleep than for shooshing down the mountain side.

Mmmm, sleep. Yaaawn.