I Don't Know

I hate politics.

As a rule, I ignore them. They make me angry. Mostly because I feel like I never get anything near the truth, so I feel like I can never create an informed decision or opinion. Because of this, I try to avoid expressing political opinions, as a rule. When politics or religion (another hot button issue for me...note I said "religion" not "faith") come up in conversations, I clam up. Life's too short to get worked up by these things. But sometimes politics is brought home, whether you want it to be or not.

A good friend of mine just got back from Iraq. Not on leave, but home...at least until the next deployment. Being new to blogspot, I hadn't found their online journal until tonight. Reading it makes me want to cry. His writing was beautiful, eloquant, and piercing. In person, this friend makes light of their time there. On a daily basis, I thought about them and worried. But I didn't let myself dwell on it, because dwelling on it wouldn't change anything. When they came home on leave, I didn't want to be the friend who asks the stupid questions about what it's like there...they spent all their time "there", I just want them to enjoy being here without me forcing them to think about "there" during their entire leave...wow, good grammar Lindy.

A while ago, if you had asked me if I agreed with this war, I would have told you no. Absolutely, unequivocally no. I would have told you that I support our troops, that they're just following orders, but that Bush is an idiot and we need to mind our own damn business. Now...I don't know. I don't know enough of what is really going on over there to have an opinion. Am I going to find out enough to have an opinion? Probably not. Politics still piss me off. But have I been humbled by what I've read in TD's blog? You bet.

TD,
In a way, I'm glad I didn't find your blog until after you got home. I knew you were in danger, you can't help but be while you're over there. But reading what you wrote really brings that fact home. I don't know if you know how glad and relieved I am that you're home safe. If you don't...I am. I just don't know how much to say about it when you're around, because I want to help home be as "normal" as you want it to be. Which is why I just let you lead our conversations to where ever you want them to go. I'm glad you feel like you can pick up the phone and call when you want to hang out. I have to admit, I'm still trying to reconcile you of today with the you that I remember from high school. Part of that is because of the past year you just experienced, a larger part of that (I think) is just not seeing you very much in the past 5 years. But I'm glad you're home so I can get to know you again.

Oh...and thank you.