As Christians, we're called to reach out to those around us. To love...not just those who are easy and convenient to love, but to love everyone. To share the wealth, both literally and figuratively.
In our small group, we just started reading "Outlive Your Life", a Max Lucado book about reaching out to those less fortunate and really living out the New Testament. Tonight we read the first chapter, which consisted of about four pages and yet managed to make me squirm by quoting all these numbers about poverty, starvation, death due to preventable diseases, and orphans. Now, I'm not saying any of those numbers came as a surprise. Far from it. But they made me squirm because of how overwhelming it all seems. I feel like I'm a single raindrop in a vast desert.
However, if I'm being 100% honest with myself (and with you), I'd have to admit that it really makes me uncomfortable because I'm just not one of the people called to international missions, and that makes me feel like a bad person. Maybe it's the profession I'm in; every day I am reminded of just how broken our own community is. How can I cry out for a country half way around the world, when my neighbor is crying out for help? Thankfully, I know that God has ignited a fire in those with a gift and passion for international ministry. I just know I'm not one of them.
So...what now? You really can't escape the fact that God calls each of us to our own 'ministry' according to our gifts. It's all well and good for me to say that my calling is in our own backyard, but tonight I was convicted...I can't let this be an excuse to sit back and let my life pass by day by day, living for myself.
See, I know what my ministry is. It's pretty simple, pretty cut and dry. One way or another, it's teenagers. My heart breaks for them, even the ones that make me want to rip my hair out each time our officers contact them YET AGAIN. I miss being involved in Young Life so much, and I had to admit to myself tonight that I've been throwing roadblocks up in my own way for about a year now.
Ok, I have to give myself a bit of a break...my schedule for the past year hasn't exactly helped. I worked almost every single Monday.
But the biggest hurdle has been that I'm wanting another group of leaders like my Baker co-leaders. They were family, and they were safe. Comfortable. The leaders here in Mac are...young. As in, college age. Single. Childless. I went to a couple of clubs and leader meetings as my schedule permitted and felt like an outsider. It's hard to get excited about 9 pm leader meetings when you have children and work at 7 am. I'm also not good about making idle chit chat with people I've never met. It's something I hate about myself, but there it is. So I quit putting in the effort to go to the meetings and to club.
What a cop-out, right? Being involved in Young Life isn't about making me feel good. It's about showing kids the love of Jesus. Yeesh Lindy, get over yourself. As Nathan told me tonight, "The needs of the kids don't change, no matter who your co-leaders are." Reality check.
So, there's some re-prioritization going on here. Stay tuned.
Oh, and I'm in an editing frenzy. Tonight was more of Dani and Tyrell's wedding photos. The next couple of days will be finishing those up and then attacking photos of the boys' birthday and bday party. Thank goodness I don't have to work for the next two days!
And the boys' big birthday party is Friday evening! So excited!