Disenchanted with People

I try not to post too much negative stuff on here, but sometimes a girl just needs to unload.

What happened to caring about your friends, and thinking about how your actions are going to affect them? What's with all the drama? And why the heck are all my tried-and-true friend so far away?!

Last night, a friend of ours met Nathan and I at Barley's for dinner and some beer. It was suppose to be a girl's night, but that kind of fizzled when all the girls we know were either busy or out of town. It started out as just this friend and I, but the entire time they were complaining about how it was just the two of us, and saying that we needed to find more people. Ok, not a big deal...if this weren't the same thing this friend does EVERY time we hang out. After a while, you start to wonder if you're company just kind of sucks.

Finally I offered to call Nathan to come down until some of our other friends could show up. He got there, we played some darts, then this friend noticed that another friend of theirs was sitting at the bar. Our friend asked if we could go sit with her at the bar...cool, no big deal...until we got to the bar and noticed that there was only one free seat next to her. So instead of asking her if she would like to join us at the big table we had been at, our friend looks at us, shrugs, and accepts our "guess we'll go sit back over there" without question. So we left, which our friend didn't even notice.

Now let me say right here and now...I am not a needy person. In fact, I am incredibly independent. But if you're my friend, I do expect you to treat me with the same care and respect that I'm willing to give you. I called my friend on what they did last night, and their response was "I hope you find some friends who can give you all of their attention." Do I call every day? No. Do I try to hang out with you every day? No. Do I monopolize your time? No. All I ask is that, if we're hanging out together, you don't ditch me and make me feel like crap whenever the notion takes you. Doesn't seem like much to ask.

I'm tired of getting walked on. I've had a couple friends do the same thing to me, and I'm kind of getting the same thing at work. Well forget that. I'm done. If I work with you, I'm not letting you treat me like I'm incompetent or let you make me look bad. If you're a friend, I will stand by you and be the best friend I can as long as you hold up your end of the deal also. I understand that there are going to be times when we're not going to be at our best, I respect that and will be there if you need a shoulder or a drinking buddy, but I'm done giving people 5th and 6th chances to walk all over me.

Maybe I've been ruined by the fact that I've had some absolutely freakin' amazing friends who I would bend over backwards for and who would do the same for me. Unfortunately, those people live on the other side of the state or in completely different states. But what's the point in being friends if you aren't willing to care that much? I love my friendship with my best friend from college, Dani, because I know that she loves me enough to call me on my stupid stuff, and that she'll listen when I do the same for her. Granted, you're not going to come across a friendship like that very often, but at least I'm willing to try.

Ok, I feel a little better now.

On a more positive note, Christmas was good, if a little exhausting. But the time we started opening presents on Christmas night (not eve), I was ready to collapse. It was great to have my parents here and I'm hoping that maybe next year I'll have a little more time with them since I shouldn't be working Christmas Eve or Christmas day. The bed we bought is absolutely lovely, so incredibly comfortable. Nathan also got me a digital video camera (now I just need to learn how to edit and create DVD's) and a DVD player which is also a karaoke machine. Nathan and I stayed up until midnight on Wednesday playing with it.

For New Year's, Nathan and I were planning on hosting a party at our place, but we decided to cancel it. There's just too much drama going on in our group of friends, which we really don't want to deal with. So instead, we're probably going to just go down to Barley's for their New Year's party, and anyone who wants to can join us there.

I'm looking forward to 2008...hopefully it will be a much better year than 2007 was.