My Secret Ambition

Do me a favor. Scroll down a bit until you get to the section on the right entitled "Random Sites I Like". See the blogs called The Pioneer Woman, C Jane, and Baby Squared? Read them. If nothing else, read just a tidbit. But be warned, you'll get hooked.

Deep down in the part of me that holds the need to share myself with the world, which stems from -I believe- being an only child, I want nothing more than to be the witty and charming author of a blog like those listed above. Especially Pioneer Woman, because deep down, right next to the need to share myself with the world, I still harbor a dream of living a life like hers, out in the middle of nowhere, a life filled with getting my hands dirty and working hard with the people I love. Oh, and I wouldn't mind if this life was also as impossibly whimsical and riotous as she makes it out to be as well. But that's neither here nor there.

In truth, I really would love to be able to entertain the masses simply by clacking away at a keyboard about whatever happens to pop into my mind. Which would require 'the masses' to be somewhat bigger than my family, close friends, and co-workers and would require the things which pop into my mind to come out in such a way that said masses wouldn't be able to help coming back for more.

Which requires one more thing...for me not to give a flying fart about peoples' opinions on my subject content. I have to be able to be candid about myself and my life, without feeling self conscious about it the next day at work. (gulp) I have to be able to tell stories on my present and future without worrying about what my mom thinks. (double gulp) I can just hear it now. "You did WHAT in high school?!" Am I ready for that?

For that matter, is my husband ready for that?! After all, it's his life too.

I want to be funny. Light hearted. Opposite of boring. How in the world do I go about becoming as accomplished of a writer as these women have?! How do they afford their own private websites? Do they keep a notebook close by them at all times, where they can scribble down clever thoughts and random post subject ideas? Maybe I should grovel and beg one of them to take me on as their apprentice. Now there's an idea. "I want to be you, literately speaking. Mould me, shape me."

The other thing I am vaguely worried about is that becoming a serious blog author involves, I believe, a certain amount of pretension. You have to assume that people even care about what you have to say, especially since, nine times out of ten, every word written is about yourself and/or your family. You start referring to the important participants in your life by nicknames, ostensibly for the purpose of protecting their dignity. (As if changing my husband's name is going to throw you all off of the scent.) No longer can you throw up a hasty post without taking the time to examine every sentence for the flow and the wit that I aspire to.

Uh oh...maybe, by proclaiming all of this, I have shot myself in the proverbial foot. Maybe it's a blogging no-no to announce your intentions of becoming a serious blog author. Who knows? I'm new to this game.

But hey, could be fun right? Who wouldn't be well served by being taken down a notch by none other than yourself? An exercise in self-abasement. Humility and pretension peacefully cohabiting. Sounds fun to me. Maybe I'll give it a whirl.