Monday, September 1, 2008


Yes, I am just THAT excited about it being September. First, it is starting to feel like fall outside...and to a woman carrying twins and experiencing a perpetual body temperature increase, this is welcome news indeed! I love that I'm no longer sweating at night! Second, it means that we got through August. I've officially been on bed rest for 32 days. In some ways, it has gone by surprisingly fast. In other ways, I can see the not-so-great effect of those 32 days on me, both mentally and emotionally, which makes those 32 days seem very very long.

But that also means that our boys are a month further along. What a huge blessing! Yes, if they were to be born today they would probably have some problems and would have to stay in NICU for quite a while....but they would also likely live. A month ago, we couldn't have said that.

I have to admit, I'm very nervous about my appointment on Thursday. A lot is riding on what they find, a lot of my hopes and prayers. The more I think about it, the more I have to admit that really what is making me so desperately want home is just wanting to be with Nathan. I'm not nearly as strong when I don't have him by me. I don't remember the last time I felt like I was missing something so huge in my life. I mean, this is one of the biggest things to happen to us, and we're not even together to share it. Ok God, I get it...Nathan and I need to lean on each other more than we have been wont to in the past. Lesson thoroughly and 100% learned. Now something's gotta give.

Thankfully, my mom is coming up on Wednesday because she wants to take me to my appointment on Thursday. My mom is one of the two or three people in the world who I feel comfortable letting my emotions show in front of...and I have a feeling I'm going to need that. I'm also horrible at asking for help and letting people take care of me. I hate imposing on people and always feel guilty about asking them to go out of their way for me. Believe it or not, I've just recently gotten to the point where I can let Nathan take care of me. But with my mom it's different...she's taken care of me my entire life. So having her here at this time is going to be an answer to prayer, because if I can't go home I'm going to need to be able to do all those things that I usually can't do with anyone else.

In baby news, both of the boys have been incredibly active these days, especially when I lay down at night to go to sleep. I felt Levi hiccuping for the first time while we were at church on Saturday night. After he had them for about 10 minutes, Asher then got them, so the boys were having dueling hiccups. I had a hard time keeping myself from giggling out loud. Now they both have hiccups on a regular basis...sorry boys, you got it from mommy!

Also at church, we saw 8 month old identical twin boys and my oh my were they ADORABLE! We started talking to their parents and found out that they're actually in the process of adopting the boys, which is just awesome. I always admire people who are willing to take both twins so that they aren't separated. Seeing the twins made my heart beat was like looking at my near future! I'm still not letting myself get impatient about meeting our boys because I know they need to stay inside for a while longer, but when I let myself think about it, I can't wait to meet them, see what they look like, who they most resemble (mom or dad), and fall completely and madly in love with them.

Only 3 more days until we're 28 weeks (7 months!) and 4 more days until I get to see Nathan!!!

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