A Bit of Positive

This morning was another doctors appointment and we had a long ultrasound in order to measure the boys in general and see how much they've grown. The last time we did a growth ultrasound was on Aug 4th. Since then, the boys have gained about 8 oz in the past 21 days. Levi is 2 lbs while Asher is 2 lbs 1 oz. I'm carrying around 4 lbs of baby right now!

When they checked the velocity of the blood flowing through the valve in Asher's heart, they noticed it had spiked quite a bit since Friday. We knew the medication that I'm on was going to cause this soon or later, so I am now officially off all medications (besides prenatal pills). I'm not sure why, but this feels like a huge triumph to me. Plus no more setting my alarm for 6 am in order to take my dose! So now it's just a matter of seeing how stable I stay for the next week and a half, in terms of contractions (hopefully lack there of) and cervix length.

But the super exciting part of the appointment was when Dr. Jenkins told us that, if I stay super stable in the next week and a half, it's possible that I could go home! Basically we need to make sure that the babies and I are stable enough that a plane ride from Baker to Boise wouldn't be detrimental to the boys. I can't even tell you how excited I am to even hear that going home is a possibility. Oh, to sleep in my own bed! To look out my window and see my mountains! To be able to be there for the organizing and decorating of the nursery!!!!!! Granted, there are a lot of factors to take into consideration, but I'm hoping that we won't get too much flack from people about our decision if we do decide that Baker is the best place for me to be...especially for my mental and emotional well-being.

I really can't believe how hard the past few days have been emotionally, even with Nathan being here. Yes, I got to get out of the house a couple of times but it didn't seem to help. It didn't take much provocation to make me start crying and it took a lot of effort to conjure up any interest in much of anything. As much as I am the type of person who refuses to consider the idea of being 'depressed', I now have a better appreciation and understanding about how women on bedrest are more prone to depression.

So for the next 10 days, the thought of possibly going home with Nathan on Sept 7th will keep me going and hopefully keep away the major slump I was feeling myself slipping into.